There are pictures of me when I was 5 or 6 years old, yanking furiously at the collar around my neck looking extremely uncomfortable, and do you know why? Because I'm wearing a goddamn tie, that's why! Anyway, ties have played a big part in my life. I don't know what I did wrong in a past life to warrant this fate, but there it is.
I mentioned tie wearing in a very emo poem I wrote back in the '80's when I was working in an office in downtown Chicago. I won't subject you to the full whiny text but there were phrases like "the glass and steel canyons where I scratch for my living" and "the floral noose I wear around my neck".
I still kind of like that last one.
Now I realize male 'neckwear' has evolved over time and, not that I'm interested, no doubt actually served some useful purpose at some point. I am quite convinced however that if in fact humanity makes it out of the 21st century, our descendants will look back at this ridiculous custom shake their heads and say, "Man look at those stupid looking ties, ours are much better"!
Because my greatest fear is that ties will never, never, never go away. But why, oh why? Here's my answer: like many strange activities that seem to persist (sports, politics, reality TV), ties appeal to deep, unconscious drives, and those drives are our need to be free and our need to be bound.
On one level the tie is a sort of proxy penis right there like a neon signs on our shirt - the wild, licentious, colorful dangly alter ego we show the world. And yet we wear it in business and formal settings, with it tied snugly around our neck, cutting off circulation to our brain, a symbol of conformity and seriousness. Quite the mixed metaphor, I'd say. Schizophrenia anyone?
I own a 'Jerry Garcia" tie. Do you think Jerry Garcia EVER wore a tie himself? I might as well have bought a "Gandhi" or a "Mao Tse Tung". I wore a Psychotic Christmas Cat tie to a Holiday party my girlfriend threw. The humor was not appreciated. This year I used that tie to decorate a tree at my office. Every now and then when things are slow, I'll move a tie up from my neck to circle my head, unbutton my top two shirt buttons and do my rendition of "Office Rambo". Inspiring.
My point being, I have great difficulty taking ties seriously. Yet they are part of a symbolic language. The fact that they are seemingly, and painfully slowly, going out of style, perhaps says something about an evolution of consciousness and beliefs about masculinity and sexuality. I don't quite know what to make of it and moreover, I'm dubious the trend will last. I've been disappointed before.
The only thing I do know for sure is this: unless they're wearing a tuxedo, there's something seriously wrong with any man willingly wearing a bow tie.
I mentioned tie wearing in a very emo poem I wrote back in the '80's when I was working in an office in downtown Chicago. I won't subject you to the full whiny text but there were phrases like "the glass and steel canyons where I scratch for my living" and "the floral noose I wear around my neck".
I still kind of like that last one.
Now I realize male 'neckwear' has evolved over time and, not that I'm interested, no doubt actually served some useful purpose at some point. I am quite convinced however that if in fact humanity makes it out of the 21st century, our descendants will look back at this ridiculous custom shake their heads and say, "Man look at those stupid looking ties, ours are much better"!
Because my greatest fear is that ties will never, never, never go away. But why, oh why? Here's my answer: like many strange activities that seem to persist (sports, politics, reality TV), ties appeal to deep, unconscious drives, and those drives are our need to be free and our need to be bound.
On one level the tie is a sort of proxy penis right there like a neon signs on our shirt - the wild, licentious, colorful dangly alter ego we show the world. And yet we wear it in business and formal settings, with it tied snugly around our neck, cutting off circulation to our brain, a symbol of conformity and seriousness. Quite the mixed metaphor, I'd say. Schizophrenia anyone?
I own a 'Jerry Garcia" tie. Do you think Jerry Garcia EVER wore a tie himself? I might as well have bought a "Gandhi" or a "Mao Tse Tung". I wore a Psychotic Christmas Cat tie to a Holiday party my girlfriend threw. The humor was not appreciated. This year I used that tie to decorate a tree at my office. Every now and then when things are slow, I'll move a tie up from my neck to circle my head, unbutton my top two shirt buttons and do my rendition of "Office Rambo". Inspiring.
My point being, I have great difficulty taking ties seriously. Yet they are part of a symbolic language. The fact that they are seemingly, and painfully slowly, going out of style, perhaps says something about an evolution of consciousness and beliefs about masculinity and sexuality. I don't quite know what to make of it and moreover, I'm dubious the trend will last. I've been disappointed before.
The only thing I do know for sure is this: unless they're wearing a tuxedo, there's something seriously wrong with any man willingly wearing a bow tie.
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